


The Evil Space Spider

by Davechicken



Series: The Pilot and his Knight [99]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 08:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10941090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: And how it is totally awful.





	The Evil Space Spider

Poe Dameron is daring. Brave. Courageous. Foolhardy. Death-defying. Frequently told he needs to think more about his personal safety. Regularly scolded by certain members of his family. Almost always fine.

Poe Dameron is also hiding inside his X-Wing.

Because Poe Dameron is also a man of sense and reason, and there are some things that you don’t mess with. One of them is Kylo before he’s had caf; one of them is General Organa if you ever want to work again; and a third is deadly, terrifying, venomous _and_ poisonous, agile, and sitting on the outside of his cockpit. 

Which is sealed.

BB-8, for all the droid _wants_ to help, can’t get to it safely and lacks the necessary manual dexterity (having no hands) to safely remove it.

Poe _hates_ these things. They are **horrible**. They can survive in hyperspace, and although they aren’t common, they’re _deadly_. And they normally attack after a trip through space.

So.

Poe watches as all the tech crew keep their distance, one of them using quadnoculars on the ship, needing to reassure everyone that the hellbeast hasn’t escaped. He runs his fingers over the inside of _Black One_ , wishing he had some form of permanent _bleach_ to clean the memory of this _intrusion_ onto his very personhood…

When in strides his beloved, the very tall, very imposing, very worried looking Kylo, formerly of Ren.

“Hey, babe,” he says, over the comm.  


“You haven’t tried to get out, have you?”  


“Nope. I value my continued existence.”  


“So do I. Is it still–”  


“I think it’s waving at you, so yes.”  


He leans forwards, feeling more confident now Kylo is close. Even though he _knows_ the seal around the cockpit is _perfect_  (or else he’d have died on the flight home), it’s still a bit like taunting death just that little eensie weensie bit too much to–

**SPLAT.**

“Ky, the hell?”  


“It was looking at you wrong.”  


“You splattered the deadly space spider on my ship with the _Force_ because it _looked at me wrong_?”  


“I panicked!”  


Poe smacks his head back. Great. If he’d wanted a brute force attack, he could have had Snap with a flame-thrower or an extreme cold extinguisher to gum it up enough for destruction. Now he’ll have to wait for the outside of the ship to be decontaminated. Plus, the check for more…

“…sorry,” Kylo mutters.  


“You are so cooking dinner tonight,” Poe says, smiling fondly (if exasperatedly) at his over-protective Knight.   


“…if you get out of there tonight.”  


“Not helping.”  


“ _Sorry_.”  


“Least you can do is amuse me while we wait for the hazmat team. So… what’ve you been up to, other than smushing space spiders?”  


He closes his eyes to the slow creep up of droids to assess the situation, listening to Kylo’s - admittedly worried - tone as he fills him in on all the latest news. 

He better have a good plan to make this up. Knowing Kylo, he already does.


End file.
